I Lost My Dear Friend This Weekend
I lost my dear friend Gregory this weekend and it still doesn’t feel real. I just spoke to him on the phone a couple of weeks ago and we talked for over an hour about work, mutual friends, and writing — we were both trying to write and we supported each other’s efforts, and often read the other’s stuff.
He was excited about his new job, and was talking about the possibility of moving to Brooklyn at some time in the near future, but not too far from Queens so he’d be near his sister.
We always talked for hours and we made each other laugh. That’s what I remember the most about him: his irreverent, incredibly smart humor. His snark and joie de vie. He was working on a memoir. He’d written essays and published them. He loved working with his author clients. He loved life.
I last saw him in person in October 2020 when we met for lunch and a stroll in Central Park’s Conservatory Garden. He made me laugh here too and was just Gregory being Gregory, refusing to not smoke outside when a fellow park visitor asked him not to. He had a point — he was outside, after all. But that was so him. He was always himself- a free spirit who never let the world hem him in.
That’s what I loved about him. I loved his essence. I keep thinking I will wake up tomorrow and it will all be a mistake. I will get a call from him and he’d say hello and tell me all about a new crush he was having with some cute guy he met online, and he’d ask me if his actions were too stalkerish. I’d say he should be himself because that was the best, because he was a beautiful, unique soul and that hot guy should be so lucky to get him. If only I was as lucky to still have him in my life.
And we’d end the phone call the way we always did: he’d say “I love you,” and I’d say it back. That little ending meant so much to me, and it makes me smile even now as I try to shake off this overwhelming sadness. It makes me want to follow in his footsteps and end all calls with loved ones the very same way — with a declaration of love, just because. Because you never know when it will be too late to say it again.
XXOO
RIP my dear friend
I will never forget you
